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| RnR Sports Bar |
Scene: 10
minutes before game time, arriving at local sports bar - RnR - for Burlacher's favorite brunch with wedding party from previous evening. Note – Burlacher is aware of his celebrity status and though
he did attend the aforementioned wedding held on the eve of the Bears/Titans
game, he specifically requested no photos be taken of him as not to take away
from the Bride and Groom’s special day.
Also to note – Burlacher takes pride in his independence. Often times he insists on being carried
up stairs given the size of his wee legs in relation to the steps, but will
make excuses as not to admit his lack of independence.
Burlacher: (stops at the bottom of staircase, pulls on my
pant leg and looks up) “My quads are just killing me from all that dancing last
night so I would like to be carried today please.”
Me: (rolling my eyes, knowing the truth) “Of course.”
Burlacher: (arriving
on the patio, immediately spots the ladies he was dancing with the night before
sitting at a table near a tv – pointing) “Take me to them quickly Cupcake. Bypass the crowd. I don’t want to be social; I haven’t had
my coffee.” (Buries his head in my shoulder, dodging high fives as we pass
through the masses)
The Ladies: “Burlacher!! We saved a spot for you! The game just started…”
Burlacher: “Sssshhhhh!
I don’t want to be noticed (too late)…. Do we have a server? I need
coffee.”
The ladies grab the server….
Server: “What can I get for you?”
Burlacher: (focus
torn between the game and the menu) “Coffee and cinnamon roll please.”
Server: “Sir, I’m sorry if I’m out of line but our cinnamon
rolls are quite large and I just think it may be a bit much for you.”
I thought about stepping in, was not the time to have his
size questioned coming off the stairs incident but the damage was done and the
response was imminent….
Burlacher: (shoots him a look) “You are out of line. I will
have a cinnamon roll and I will finish it and in the future I would not like
your advice.”
Thankfully for our server, just then the Bears block the
Titans punt and Corey Wooten runs it in for a touchdown!! The insult was
immediately forgotten as Burlacher jumps to his feet with no help from his arms
as if he was in Army drill and takes off high fiving the table.
He returns to his seat as his cinnamon roll arrives. He
greets it with a poker face but is clearly scared he may have lied about being
able to finish it… outwardly he remains calm, turns on the charm and starts
offering bites to the ladies claiming he doesn’t want to eat in front of them. We all know the truth but didn’t have
time to discuss as we notice Matt Forte headed for the end zone… TOUCHDOWN!!
and Burlacher is off…. This time he’s jumping from table to table fist pounding
the men, high fiving the ladies and stopping to shimmy when appropriate. The group was large and there were a
lot of tables so this lap took longer than most, he rounded the corner, now
eyes on the tv for his home stretch….
Burlacher: (eyes huge, now screaming) “UNCLE BRIAN!!! Interception!!! He’s running, he’s got
it…. TOUCHDOWN!!! UNCLE BRIAN IS A HERO!!”
I race to Burlacher, nervous about what he is capable of when
he gets this excited but he’s already jumped in the arms of a girl in wearing a
Bears shirt and is dancing the tango…. He demands to be dipped but turns into
dead weight as he is stunned when he notices a man passing by…. He rises
cautiously…
Burlacher: (to the man) “Uncle Brian!?? Is that You? How can
this be you? You just scored a touchdown on the television?”
The Man: (laughing) “No no…. I’m just wearing his jersey and
I know I kinda look like him, I get that a lot.”
Burlacher: (justifying and acting cool….) “Well, you do look
just like him so I bet you do get that a lot… anyway, Uncle Brian requests I
send him a picture of my game day celebrations for his mantel, I would like a
photo with you please.”
The Man: (zero hesitation) “Sure! I’d be honored.”
Burlacher checks the score: 28-2 at the end of the first quarter. The route is on ….
Burlacher: (walking away, talking to himself and whoever may
be in earshot.. sighs..) “Aaawwww, what a day…. We’ve got this one in the bag,
I’m gonna go DJ….”
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