Background –
Due to many scheduled appearances, Burlacher’s vacation days are limited so he often
has to book trips long in advance.
Thus, his Chicago trip to Solider Field was planned prior to the
schedule coming out for the season in hopes it would be a home game weekend, but
alas, Burlacher was denied. But recovered well.
SCENE: Saturday, Chicago, Downtown Hotel (not
safe to reveal his exact location while in Chicago for obvious reasons)
Burlacher: (shaking me awake) “Morning!! (very
excited) Time to get up!” (already dressed in his uniform, ready for his trip
to Soldier Field)
Me: “Okay, can
we stop for breakfast?”
Burlacher: “No.”
Me: “Coffee?”
Burlacher: “No.
But we need to go to Barney’s; I didn’t pack a suit for that event tonight. I’ve mapped out our day and it’s across
the street, best to get it out of the way now.”
The event is
actually a casual BBQ with close friends, but I know Burlacher likes to look
his best so I don’t argue and we walk to Barney’s. The staff greets him by name
and he’s lead directly to men’s suits (it’s clear they knew he was coming)… The
staff becomes visibly nervous and deeply apologetic when there’s nothing in his
size. Burlacher, now demanding coffee and pastries for his trouble, takes the
extra time to be fitted for a custom suit we’ll be picking up later and we are
finally on our way.
SCENE: Solider
Field (Notre Dame v. Miami starts in a few hours, fans gathering….)
Burlacher:
(hops out of the cab, was extremely excited - now noticeably overwhelmed
manages to eek out as he looks around…) “WOW…. So this is where Uncle Brian and
Charles play…its so big…” (*Note
–Burlacher has no relation to Brian Urlacher but he tells people that so often
he’s started to believe it himself…)
Burlacher pulls
himself together and notices one of the monuments on his map he’s wanted to
see… he races over and jumps in front of a man holding his child, demanding his
picture to be taken like it’s a scavenger hunt.
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Me: “Burlacher,
you’re in that family’s picture! Move aside and wait your turn.”
Burlacher:
(disregarding my point and now looking at the family) “Scuz me (annoyed), I
can’t help but notice you’re in Notre Dame uniforms. Do you know where you are?
This is where my Uncle Brian plays, and I’ve traveled a long way to be here and
you’re in my picture. Please leave now.”
Family looks at
him, a bit appalled but have no rebuttal as he’s simply pointed out the facts -
they gather their belongings and quickly back away. Just then two little kids
come running up in Miami uniforms…
Burlacher: “No!
No! NO! What is wrong with you people!?
Everyone clear out! Where are the parents of these kids? Sir! Get your
kids under control… (parents come running in, frantically grabbing their kids
while a half circle forms around the monument and Burlacher proceeds with his
photo shoot – various poses: sitting, standing, serious, smiling, hand on his
hip, profile shot, now touching the monument, etc)
Me: “Alright Burlacher,
I think we’re done here(?).”
Burlacher: “Just
one more shot! (smiles one more time) Okay, did we get some good ones? Which one will Uncle Brian want for his
mantel? Let me see them.” Burlacher refusing to leave his post, waves me over for
photo review (Miami and ND fans don’t move, waiting more out of fear than patience).
Burlacher determines he needs one more angle. (Crowd groans and Burlacher
shoots them a look – everyone shuts up in unison).
Finally we’re
done and Burlacher saunters to the main entry corridor like he owns the place
and remains there, statuesque and awe-stricken for a few moments; then turns to
me for what I thought was going to be a profound statement about the
awesomeness of the stadium or the random college fans that were racing by not
appreciating their surroundings… but he utters only three words with a shaky
voice: “It’s cold here.” Shivering
just a little now but trying to be tough (didn’t pack a coat either), he walks
to the cab line.
SCENE: Sunday,
Game Day, Chicago Bar
Burlacher
enters the bar with his Chicago entourage. Heads turn as we walk through and
claim our spot... it takes only moments for fans to start timidly approaching
for picture requests. Burlacher,
wanting to be focused on pre game strategy, also realizes what a big deal it is
for anyone who is not him to meet him and graciously honors the requests of our
table neighbors, promo girls, etc…
The game begins
and the Bears, expected to win this one easily, are off to slow start. Now late in the second quarter, still a
3-3 tie I remind Burlacher, “We have to leave at halftime for the airport.”
Burlacher: “No.
I won’t go. Change our flight. Or just take my bag (his new suit). I will catch
the next flight.”
Me: “I can’t,
we already tried. This is the latest flight we could get today. You’re leaving
with me.”
I start my
round of goodbyes as Burlacher acts oblivious to the fact we are making an exit.
A few minutes into halftime, our driver pulls up and I take my bag to the car… I
get in and sit for few minutes, knowing Burlacher will cave…. Sure enough, at
the last second Burlacher comes sprinting to the car, jumps in, out of breath
panting “Turn on the game! Third Quarter just started!” He stares at me
disgusted; as if I should be grateful he made the decision to join me. We sit
silence, listening to the game as we head to the airport.
We arrive; Jacksonville
has the ball so I get out, pay the driver, grab the bags and head for our
terminal… half way there I realize Burlacher is still in the car, I turn around
to see him thrust between the two front seats, fits pumping, screaming at the
radio: “Go Charles! Go Charles! Go Charles… (throws his hand in the air) TOUCHDOWN!!!” Burlacher jumps out, leaping across the
hoods of multiple cars until he reaches me on the sidewalk, “Charles got an
interception! And a touchdown!”
Me: “I
gathered…. That’s great! (sharing his excitement but trying to keep us focused)
We have to go.”
Boarding passes
in hand, we shoot off to security. The TSA officer screening ID’s stops
Burlacher with a quizzical look but not able to form the words… Burlacher
clears things up, “I know, I was younger then” ...and quickly snatches back his
ID and boarding pass before she can respond, then talks his way to the front of
the metal detector line, “So sorry, we’re in a hurry, our plane is about to
leave…” (total lie, he just wants to see the game).
We arrive at
our gate, settle in and watch proudly as the Bears finish out the game in real
time in the manner that had been expected all week. We board our plane.
Burlacher finds our row; we’re assigned the aisle but hops across the
person in the middle to the open window seat, stands on the seat and peers out
the window. Eventually a very
large man (looks a lot like Brandon Marshall, but not a football fan) claims
his window seat. Not phased, Burlacher says, “Oh hi…” now really looking at the
man, “Oh my… (turning on the
charm) Are you related to Brandon?!”
The Man, “Who?”
Burlacher: “Never mind but that was a compliment, anyway,
do you care if I sit on your tray table and look out the window? It’s a long
flight and I get a bit claustrophobic.”
The man agrees
and Burlacher proceeds to sit on his table for the 3 ½ hr flight recounting the
entire weekend play by play…. Finally we land and Burlacher, now legs swinging
over the edge – still staring directly at the man, sums it up with, “…But do
you know my favorite part of the whole weekend was? (doesn’t stop for the man
to answer, can’t lose his train of thought) … when those Packmen missed their
field goal against the Colts and we’re still leading the NFC North!”
Me: (Overhearing
this I whisper) “Burlacher, I think we’re actually still tied with the
Vikings.”
Burlacher: (not
breaking eye contact with the man) “Pay no attention to her; she likes to ruin
my stories.”
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