We always
convince ourselves we don’t need Direct TV until that random Sunday comes that
the cable and NFL networks don’t play the Bears game. Even though you mentally prepare all week long that the bar
is your only Sunday option, one can never, never prepare for getting wee
Burlacher up and moving after a Saturday night that he went a bit too
hard.
I timidly enter
his room and gently shake him, “Burlacher, our ride will be here in 5min, you
have to get up.”
Burlacher not
moving, grumbles “Coffee.”
Me: “No…. you
have to get up now, we can’t miss kickoff”
Burlacher: “Who
are you and why are you still talking…” (not really a question)
Me: “Fine, I’m
leaving. Sorry you’ll miss the game.” (this always works)
Burlacher
shoots out of bed (already dressed in his uniform – sleeps in it the night
before when he knows he has to be up early), “Oh no! Its bar Sunday!
(as if he is informing me) We have to leave now!” (runs to the door)
We arrive at
the bar; Burlacher immediately spots the TV that shows the Bears game lining up
for kickoff. He races past the host and jumps in a table with a perfect view
but is already occupied.
Me: “I’m so
sorry (to the patrons at the table) he’s still very sleepy… (I grab Burlacher)
Burlacher! There are seats at the bar, this is not our table.”
Burlacher:
(eyes locked on the game) “No, these are my friends, we’re fine here.”
Though I don’t
like to, sometimes I have to be forceful and this was one of those times…
kicking and screaming we made our way to the bar.
 |
| Is that a virgin Mimosa? |
Bulacher:
(Finally settled, flags down the bartender) “Mimosa please.”
I cut the
bartender off at the pass (he clearly knew Burlacher was under age) and
whispered, “Just keep giving him orange juice, he won’t know the difference and
for everyone’s safety, please make sure his glass is always full.”
Just then
Robbie Gould kicks our first field goal from midfield – Burlacher throws his
hands up in celebration of our 3 point lead, high-fiving our neighbors (they
weren’t Bears fans but they kindly played along).
As expected,
our defense forces the punt on the Rams kickoff drive and special teams one man
show Devin Hester does his job, followed by three consecutive first downs by
our boy Michael Bush and then… UH OH we can’t blame J’Marcus Webb for this one…
Cutler throws an interception (was only a matter of time). Thank god for the one (or 3) QB sacks
by Israle Idonije forcing yard lossage (spell check says that’s not a word, I’m
going with it anyway) and the defense kicking ass because Michael Bush is set
up just before half to run it in for a TOUCHDOWN!!!
Now, I admit, I
was celebrating myself and lost focus for a second (any parent knows this
feeling)… I turn around and Burlacher is victory lapping on the bar! High-fiving everyone on his path as I’m
screaming for him to get back in his seat…. He ignores me as he rounds the
corner seeing a couple Bears jerseys he missed on his first lap and then, as if
the Rams fan doesn’t feel bad enough, Burlacher nonchalantly kicks over his
beer (like it was a reflex and he had no choice) and keeps running. I was immediately thrust into damage
control mode but the bar is cheering him on (last thing I needed).
Finally, he
jumps on the napkin container and does his celebratory end of victory lap
shimmy, and then he returns to his seat to spew forth his profound next
statement, “So what do you think Lovie’s halftime speech will be… (now doing his Lovie voice) ‘I’d like to
see Israle Idonije (messes this one up horribly) and (recovers strong with) Michael
Bush in my office to discuss them playing all positions, the rest of you can
leave for the day’.”
Me: “No no.. a
few others have done well today…”
Burlacher:
“Fine, Robbie, Timmy (Tim Jennings) and Mr. Hester should play too, I should
tell Lovie that’s how I feel before he does something drastic.”
And thank god
we kept Timmy as he proved his worth in the second half by tipping Bradford’s
pass which set up the INT for Major Wright that ended in a 45yrd run TD(!!!)
and then proceeded to pick off one more with seconds left to seal our Bears
Week 3 Victory at home.
As we’re
walking out….
Burlacher: “Oh,
sorry for knocking over that Rams fan’s beer…. I don’t hold myself responsible
though; I was clearly over served today.”
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